The Meaning of Life and My Curiosity

For the better part of two years (over two years now, sheesh…) I’ve written a plethora of things on this digital workspace. I’ve written personal growth articles, leadership articles, articles about scripture and the love of God. I’ve written sad pieces and uplifting pieces.

All of these words published on this site have been an attempt to do a couple of things: a) self-therapy, I wanted to write because it was helped me heal. It helped me search for what was apparently missing, but the truth is, there’s no way to fill a black hole. Not even light itself can escape a black hole. I wrote and wrote to fill this void after the loss of our daughter. It made me feel a little better at the moment, but as writers do, I began to judge myself based on metrics of vanity. I would be excited when an article I worked hard on got read by a ton of people, but upset when I heard crickets. This form of therapy seemed excellent at first, but alas, it was not. b) it was an attempt to answer unanswerable questions, questions like “why did this happen to us?”, And “why did it have to be us?”. Speculation is a beautiful thing in some small circles of our lifetime, but in the midst of terrible grief, it’s nothing but an extra push spinning the wheel of confusion and frustration.

Whats the point?

Why am I saying this now, after two years and nearly 200,000 words on this site? Well, because I’ve learned a great deal. And through this learning process, I rediscovered my desire to learn. (Or maybe better explained, I DISCOVERED my desire to learn.) Over the past few months, I’ve become fascinated by the cosmos.

I’ve become fascinated by the ideas and theories proposed that help explains why we’re here and where we’re going. Now, some folks might think that science and religion don’t mix well together. That science is always trying to explain away religion. Some people believe that “The Big Bang” exists as a way to seek to disprove the fact that God created the universe and He alone.

I don’t believe that’s the case. I don’t believe that science and religion have to be mutually exclusive. In fact, I have a good friend who told me that once he began to intellectually pursue God, he realized it brought him closer to God.

So, that’s where I’m going with this. I’ve been thinking how to apply this newly discovered desire to learn; this is it. I’m taking the bait and jumping down the rabbit hole. I’m taking the blue pill (or the red pill…I can’t remember which pill it is, but it’s the one where I’m learning more and not turning a blind eye to my curiosity).

For the next phase of my act, i’ll be writing about science and philosophy and trying to figure out where they meet with my faith in God.

The motivation for this is somewhat deeper than just curiosity of the cosmos. I’ve also struggled with my faith recently. I’ve wondered if all the pain has made it even worth it. I’ve lost site of the a priori (the idea that you should believe because it makes more sense to believe. If you believe and you’re right, then you wind up spending eternity with God, if you believe and he doesn’t exist when you die, nothing happens. If you don’t believe, and he exists, when you die you go to Hell, if he doesn’t exist, then well, I guess you got lucky.) idea of religion. I’ve questioned everything I’ve believed for most of my life over the past few months.

I’m still going to question, but I’m going to question from the standpoint of “how does this theory within science provide evidence for God as my Creator?”

Are you curious as well?

If you want to join in on this discussion, you can do so in the comments, or you can send me an email with some of your thoughts. If you’d like to write an article and share something you found interesting and want to provide some context for it, then send that to me as well. You can find my email on the about me page.

In closing I want to say that I do believe God is my Creator, I also want to say that I like discussion and curiosity. If something on here offends you, then you always have the option of not reading. Or if you feel the need, we can discuss it in further detail in the comments or through email.

I’ve been compiling some of these thoughts recently and will be trying to convey them soon. I’ve found new motivation and am excited about the new step in my journey.


Photo credit: Rodney Campbell