Man, it’s been a really busy month. I honestly don’t remember hardly anything specific about July. It feels like I was standing on the side of a private pond watching fireworks go off just last night.
It’s Friday evening and there may not be many people reading this, but hopefully you’ll find it on Saturday morning. Anyway, it’s Friday night and I’m sitting at home after a long week at work, maybe 75 hours worth, and I’m sitting in front of the TV after dominating a BBQ chicken pizza. As I look through the channels my wife and I stumble on the TV show SHARK TANK. I love that show.
But after SHARK TANK went off, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? came on. I’m not sure if you’ve ever watched this show, but it’s interesting. It’s one of those hidden camera shows where they stage situations that create uncomfortable settings in a public place. There’s a group of actors creating a situation and the point of the show is to see how “normal” people react to these uncomfortable situations.
On tonight’s episode the setting created was as such: Two gay men are talking at a table with a proposed surrogate mother. They are discussing how the adoption will go down and the “mother” of the child is a young woman who seems to be in her late teens or early twenties.
As the three of them are having their conversation about the future of this child a woman (also an actor) sitting at a table by herself decides to walk over to the conversation and express her opinion about how two men raising a child is blatantly wrong.
The intent of the show is to determine how people (who don’t know these people are actors) will react to the woman telling the gay couple they are unfit to be parents and it’s in the best interest of the child for the expectant mother to not let them adopt the child.
There are a couple of things I need to make clear before I move on.
1. I’m not a person who believes that same-sex relationships are acceptable. I’m a man married to a woman, and I personally believe that same-sex relationships are wrong.
2. Just because I believe this to be true, doesn’t not mean that I believe it’s MY place to judge anyone on how they believe.
The purpose of this article is not to discuss my religious beliefs on same-sex relationships. You know my personal stance as expressed above. It is, however, the intention of this article to discuss the following topic:who’s place is it to judge those who chose to participate in something you don’t believe?
In tonight’s episode of the show, the highlight was watching several groups of people express how rude the woman who berated the gay couple for wanting to adopt a child was. In the situation, several people watched as the woman walked over to tell the gay couple and the expectant mother how wrong it was for them to consider adopting a child into a same-sex household. And the majority of people who watched the woman berate them said something encouraging to the couple. They said things like, “I think you guys would make great parents” or “I can’t believe someone would say those things to you, it’s not her place.”
Here’s the thing—I agree with all of those people who interjected.
I don’t believe that people should be work-a-holics. Neglecting their family in effort to climb any professional ladder. But I also don’t feel it’s my place to go around and police those people up who work 100 hours per week and hire nanny’s to raise their children. And though I believe it’s wrong for people to engage in same-sex relationships, I’m not the judge.
If you’re a religious person, as am I, then you should understand that you are not the judge either. Everyone has an opinion. And we, as a nation, feel as if we are entitled to voice said opinion. Maybe under the “Free Speech” right outlined in the Bill of Rights, we do. But that does not make it the right thing to do in all situations.
I’ve got news for you, whether you like it or not, the world is changing. It has changed.
I’m a military man, and the military has led the way in making same-sex relationships on the same playing field as heterosexual relationships, and if my boss (the President of the United States) has allowed the military to recognize same-sex relationships, guess what? I, by law, have to recognize them as well.
Maybe I have rambled, maybe I have created a convoluted opinion. So let me clear it up.
If you desire to be a good person. A person of character. Then the fundamental principal within being a person of character is being respectful to others, regardless of race, ethnicity, religion, or any other aspect of a person’s life.
If you’re a religious person, then you know that YOU are not the judge of others. You don’t have to agree with what they do, but it’s also not your place to judge their actions. In order to help someone based on what you see as being criteria for needing to help requires an established relationship.
I’m of the opinion that if you don’t have an established relationship with someone, and your opinion is different than their’s, you will get nowhere if you try and impose your opinion on them. So in effect, you’re not helping, you’re hurting. And if you’re ultimate goal is to help, then you’re going about it the wrong way.
Love people and they will love you back. Then you can begin discussing your personal opinion. But prior to gaining their trust and establishing a meaningful relationship, you’ll get nowhere. All you’re going to do is increase the divide between groups of people who could be working together instead of against.
You don’t have to agree with everything a person does to love them. I’m guilty of judging as much as the next person, which is why I wrote this article. That episode spoke to me. It’s not my place to impose a lifestyle on someone who doesn’t ask my opinion. If they want my opinion, they can read it here.